Category: Uncategorized

Kidney for sale – the saddest sale

“Wow! May bago syang iphone! San mo binenta bato mo?” (“Wow! You have a new iphone! Where did you sell your kidney?”). It used to be a joke amongst us friends 10 yrs ago and I thought it will remain as joke until I saw the latest story of KMJS, it made me sad that it is no longer a joke. Kids sell one of their kidneys for the purpose of buying material things like an iphone or motorbike.

If you are someone desperate for money, selling your kidney is so attractive when they promise and show you an instant $3500. And we cannot blame these people. Most of them are in dire need for money and need instant money, or unaware of other ways to get what they want, or kids not having proper guidance.

I hope people considering to trade their kidneys for money would think 1000x times and eventually realize that money although not easy to earn can be earned with work but losing a kidney is something you will never earn again once lost.

Mostly people in the poverty line give in to this kind of deals. And it is sad. But, can we blame them when they have an empty stomach calling them to grab that instant money? Or, when they want to go to school and that’s the only way for them to pay the tuition fees? Or, when they only want their loved ones to get attended in a hospital but have to pay an enormous amount and got into a huge debt?

Poverty is tough. Aside from chronic hunger you will experience, it also will encapsulate you in a metaphorical bubble where you rarely see hope and just keep faith to the supreme being – a life that is thought to be lived with no choice. This bubble is stronger especially if it has been generations of being poor. It feels like a never-ending cycle and you would end up doing things like selling a kidney to get instant money to feed your starving family or get that iPhone that you thought unattainable unless you sell your kidney.

It is not easy to escape the cycle of poverty especially if you grew up in this bubble and no one could enlighten you unless you found a way to enlighten yourself and get out of this bubble.

Being poor is tiring. I wasn’t the poorest of the poor but I had the glimpse of it. I experienced it but not to the extreme level. But, the thought of selling my kidney never occurred to me. Having only one kidney is scary and here is why: my tatay had chronic kidney disease brought by diabetes and hypertension. He did dialysis 2-3x a week. And it was tiring to the patient’s body and emptied our bank. It felt endless of working but not getting what I want because we have to prioritize the hospital bills. Back then, although tiring, I did not care about my money spent on my tatay’s medication. I only cared for tatay to heal or prolong his life. Our family got into a huge debt that seemed impossible to pay for me. And this was not true. I realized money will come and go and you will eventually pay all of your debts but your health once gone will never come again.

So, I hope if you are thinking of selling your kidney, consider other legal options to get money. Be very scared of having just one kidney. And please, do not sell your kidney for the sake of getting an iPhone! You can have this eventually without sacrificing your health. It took me 7yrs for me to get a second-hand, base model iPhone 6S locked to a network and 10yrs to get out of debt due to hospital bills.

Just keep working on yourself and your goals and keep those kidneys of yours healthy.

What if we don’t really die?

What if we don’t really die?

What if we just sleep on our deathbed and then wake up as a newborn baby in another family?

What if there is no hell or heaven?

Or maybe hell is like being born into the poorest community where you can barely eat for a day?

And maybe heaven is being born into the richest family?

What if what we do on Earth in a single lifetime will make or break our next life?

When they said no one can choose the family we are born with, maybe somehow, we can.

Maybe our life’s decisions now decide how our next life will become.

It is difficult not to speculate these things when you want to see the world fair for everyone.

Maybe the world is not unfair.

Maybe the world is round because each life is a cycle and, in each cycle, we always have a choice.

We get to have a rich family, do bad things, die, and be born again in the worst conditions.

And then be good, die, and be born again into an unproblematic, happy, and well-off family.

Because if that’s not the case, heaven and hell (if they exist) will be full of souls.

Heaven not having a problem and hell having all troubles sound boring.

Imagine your life not having a problem or having endless struggles.

It looked like doing the same thing over and over either way.

This life on Earth seems more interesting, you decide what your day will be.

Those decisions impact others and so our lives now and in the future.

I used to believe that we would become stars at night shining brightly if we lived wisely.

But I guess we are just souls traveling from one life to another.

So, make it the best life for your next life to have the best life.

2 Great life lessons I learned in the past 3 years

The past three years have been life changing for me. I had a chill and relaxed life for the past 2 decades of my life and a single step I made to get outside my comfort zone changed my life.

Here are the 2 main lessons in life I would cherish for the rest of my life that the past three years had taught me:

1. Just say yes even if you’re scared or unsure.

When opportunity arrives grab it. I hope it would be a success for you but do not worry, if you fail it will give you an experience you won’t know if you did not take that chance. Expect to fail but you should expect to grow as well. Please do that thing that you are most scared and you won’t regret whatever would be the result of this.

2. Change is not achievable overnight.

I have been stagnant for years and it became a habit and eventually a bad routine. You would notice in my past posts that I was trying to change this bad routine into a better one but it was not easy and I couldn’t change overnight. It takes time to change but acknowledging that we need to change into better person is a good start. We just need to be kind to yourself and work everyday to be the person your future self would thank you.

Everyday is an opportunity to learn and I hope we see this each time we get to wake up the next day and let this create good growth in us.

I got scammed: 5 telltale signs it is a scam (that I missed)

I got scammed thrice and the biggest amount was in 2020 that amounted to PhP 12,500.00 ($250). I repeat, THRICE! The first one was PhP 8000 ($160) but not really a scam but an insurance I was forced to get while the other one was an online purchase of PhP 3250 ($65) but I got it back so not too painful for the other two.

So, here’s my most heartbreaking scam story. The scammer introduced herself as Jo Ann. These scammers steal identities of real good people so be careful on that part when accusing someone.

1. The offer is too good to be true.

I wanted a Samsung Note which was being sold for PhP25-30K ($500-600) second hand at that time. I have been buying from this website (OLX now Carousell) for so long even online and was never scammed that when I saw this posting of this phone at PhP12.5K, I was like…OMG! I found a good deal, I would save half the price! And it was too good to be true but I gave in!

    2. They will try to build your trust.

    I texted the seller shown on the screenshot. She told me she was studying medicine in the one of the most prestigious universities for medical students in the Philippine. She used kind words and even added me on Facebook. I saw that she has 2000 friends and had been to several medical missions and there she gained my trust. She even sent me IMEI of the phone and it was searchable!

    3. They do not want to do a meet up.

    But, the amount was too big for me not to do a meet up. So, I asked her if we can meet even at her place if she was too busy. But, she said she was on a medical mission far away and the phone was with her so she will just ship it. And, because she gained my full trust already, I said yes. At this point I still didn’t have any clue that this was a scam.

    4. It uses urgency tactic.

    I was so happy I found a good deal for the phone of my dreams. The scammer messaged me that she was packing the phone already but would want to get the payment first. She told me that the medical mission would move to another island with no connection nor a shipping courier so she said if I can send the payment. Of course, it was a very good deal I couldn’t afford to lose so I gave in again to the urgency. She sent me the details where I would send the money. And a photo of the shipping label on the “box of the phone”. And that was the beginning of a mistake. I sent the money — PhP 12,500! Half of my one month’s salary!

    5. You will be blocked after the transaction.

    I sent the money and then she told me she will ship it immediately. I was so happy and looking forward to that parcel that never came. The next day, I messaged her asking if she already sent the package and she never replied and I couldn’t access her Facebook account which apparently because I got blocked. And, it dawned me, I got scammed.

    Our family was financially struggling at that time and I cried for a month for being so stupid. I couldn’t talk about it and I just let myself feel what I was supposed to feel.

    If you are going through this, I am telling you, it will be ok soon. You may feel dumb at that moment and it is completely normal. You are not dumb, you just got blinded. And in time, your heart will heal and the universe will give you double if not triple of what you lost. And I hope that the lesson you learned from this experience will make you wiser and not fall again into the scam trap.

    Forgive yourself. This is out of your control now. Focus on what you have control over with.

    These days, there’s a lot of scamming technique I am just witnessing from other people like:

    • pretending your bank is calling you to access your details, never give your bank details especially the three digit number at the back of your card.
    • text message that you won and you have to click the link to give your details.
    • a message that your parcel was stuck in one of the places and the only way to get it moving is for you to pay a small amount using your card and therefore allowing scammers to get your bank details.

    Bottom-line, do not give your bank and personal details on the phone or a link sent by an unknown number. As much as possible if you are buying an expensive stuff, do a meet up and go with someone during that meet up.

    Being intentional: defining the changes you want to make

    If you will go through the posts I made in the past months you’ll see at least 2 of day 1 of XX. Like, I really wanted to create good habits for my future self and the future generation but I keep failing. It took me a year to create the Duolingo habit and that’s one for the books. One thing I realized that keeps me going back to the old habit is not being intentional and forgetting my intents when things become difficult. Because I do not remember my intents, I just let my flight instinct kicked in and escape the things I needed to do.

    Today, I wanted to define the intents of my long overdue good habits that my present self have been long imagining that my future will thank me. Generally, the intent was to build a good routine that will unleash the potential I have in me but I needed to be more specific.

    To have a healthy body:

    • exercise for 10 mins in the morning
    • shower everyday
    • intense exercise at least once a week
    • avoid sweets
    • avoid oily and salty food
    • avoid highly-processed food
    • sleep for 7-8 hours everyday

    *ask yourself:

    before 5pm everyday, have I exercised or showered today?

    each Friday, have I done any intense exercise this week?

    before buying or taking that food in your mouth, is this very sweet, salty, oily or highly-processed? If yes, say NO to it FIRMLY.

    To have a healthy mind:

    • meditate everyday for 5 minutes first thing in the morning
    • focus work for straight four hours – remove distractions
    • read a full journal article everyday
    • read non-academic book for 15minutes everyday
    • meditate for 5 minutes before going to sleep

    *ask yourself:

    before scrolling mindlessly in the morning, have you done meditation?

    what is keeping me distracted?

    should I protect this work hours?

    have I read a journal article today?

    did I use any of my 15 minutes to read something not related to acads?

    before going to sleep, have I meditated?

    To have a healthy work-life balance:

    • work with intention, attention and focus for at least 40hrs a week
    • talk to family and friends at least 2-3x a week
    • give yourself a mindful rest on one of the weekends not thinking of anything
    • if you work your best, treat yourself on a vacation without feeling guilty

    *ask yourself:

    today, have I worked at least 8hrs intently with my full attention and focus?

    this week, have I talked to a friend? my bf? or family?

    what am I thinking while I am resting?

    did you do your best for this month/s?

    You are free to use this template. Write your answers everyday on a physical paper to remind you of these habits that you are trying to create.

    I hope you realize your own beauty

    There’s nothing wrong about getting enhancements if it makes you happy.

    At some point in my life I wanted to get a rhinoplasty mainly because I was tired of not just other people but my own friends and family bullying me with my big nose. It was my greatest insecurity until I realized that I am beautiful despite having a big nose but it took me two decades to accept everything I was born with.

    Accepting everything you have is not easy especially when your brain was wired by your environment that you fully trust since day 1.

    You are fortunate if you have an affirmative surrounding telling you that you are enough and nothing is wrong with you however this is not always the case.

    I thought I was the ugliest and felt like life was not fair. But, the universe allowed me to see the world in a broader perspective and that changed how I see myself now.

    Life brought me to a place with a very diverse culture. People across the globe who lived their lives way different than me and found how each of us are uniquely beautiful. These people never pointed out that my nose was big but made me feel that I am enough and beautiful. And for that I will forever be grateful.

    The people I have been meeting made me feel secure and accepted. I am thankful I didn’t end up changing anything in my body.

    But again, it’s ok to have physical enhancement but I think what’s more important to improve is our personality, character, values and knowledge. Stay true to yourself, kind and loving to yourself and other people. Crave to know more. Think before you speak. Try to see different angles of where things are coming.

    And I hope when you find out how beautiful you are, you can also be a medium for others to see their own beauty.

    That was me 10 years ago and the way I see myself now has changed a lot! I know now that I am beautiful even with my big nose. 😉

    Do I need a CFO if I have a J1 visa? (Philippines to USA)

    YES! YES! YES!

    YES, you need to have a CFO!

    A CFO sticker from them!

    If you answer yes to the questions below, then YOU MUST have that CFO sticker/paper with you:

    Do you have a J1 visa?

    Is it your first time to go to the US with a J1 visa?

    Again, if your answer is yes to those two questions, then regardless of your category YOU MUST APPLY at the CFO office to get one.

    I am a government employee and returning after 5 months from an exchange program, do I need a CFO?

    YES! YES! YES! Regardless if you are working in the government or private office in the Philippines or even if you are unemployed, you will need a CFO before your departure.

    In some cases it takes a week or two to get an appointment with CFO or for your sticker/paper from CFO to arrive to you, so make sure to plan ahead of time on getting yours.

    And, if you are so close to the date of your departure before realizing that you needed one, go straight away to the CFO office in Quezon City because calling them is a bit of a challenge but getting one from their office will usually take less than a day if you have complete documents. They are only open Mondays thru Thursdays, 7am-5pm.

    The CFO has an assistance desk at NAIA Terminal 1 that is open from 5am until midnight Mon-Fri except regular holidays, but you will have to call them 2-3 business days before your flight.

    My kaBOBAhan mistake: How to cook white tapioca (BOT BANG) pearls?

    I grew up buying cooked boba or tapioca pearls in the market so this was my first time cooking it and I thought I was smart enough since I cooked brown tapioca pearls before perfectly!

    Wait, let me defend myself a bit. There was no instruction on the packaging! But my inner self was screaming — you should have searched it! Internet is free!

    Boba is a Tagalog term for stupid girls which I brought to life when I did not cook the white tapioca pearls correctly. LOL.

    Here’s the thing. The white vs the brown tapioca shares similar and different things when cooking them. Similar in terms of putting them in boiling water but different on the duration that you will have to simmer them.

    Below was the disaster I made which was dissolved white tapioca pearls:

    Please DO NOT put yet the tapioca pearls unless the water is BOILING!!!

    LET THE WATER BOIL FIRST!!!

    Then, put your pearly white raw tapioca.

    Reduce the heat and let it slowly boil for 30 minutes.

    Unlike the brown boba, with white tapioca pearls you should let the pearls sit in the water until it cools.

    You should see mostly translucent pearls and few opaque like the photo below. If you see a lot of opaque, you need to BOIL the WATER again and cook the half cooked pearls for 10-15 minutes and let it sit in the water until it cools for 10-15 minutes.

    After this time, you should see that most of the pearls are translucent.

    Wash them to remove extra slimey coating of the pearls.

    Then you can cook them in sugar syrup if you want them sweet!

    Beginners’ snowboarding guide: lens from a tropical grown first-timer gal

    Ok. I grew up from the Philippines. the 3 decades of my life was spent in a country that never gets snow and has two season – rainy and sunny. Seeing a snowfall is a goal for people who grew up in places that never gets snow – you can ask them. LOL.

    And, doing snowboarding is more than I could ask for. It was already a full circle moment for me who’s from a place that does not snow and never thought that she could ever ride a plane.

    Anyway, I did my first snowboarding and let me tell you some of the things I learned that could guide you on your upcoming trip.

    It is not cheap but can be manageable

    If you are like me who wants to enjoy life but does not have all the resources in the world, then I am telling you snowboarding is not cheap especially if you will do it in Colorado, US. But, do not let it stop you from going. With timely hotel reservation, finding a cheap gear rental place and free place to snowboard then your $450 will be enough to go on a 3-days-2-nights snowboarding (excluding the travel cost) below is the cost breakdown:

    Hotel (100 per night) = 200

    Snowboard complete gear for 3 days = 150

    Food = 50-100 (will be enough if you will bring most of it)

    Lift = free in school zones but if you want to try the gondola and the mountain snowboarding, prepare extra 230 per day

    It is not easy on your first try but do not give up

    If this is your first time, prepare that you will get your body sore as you hit the ground several times. You may get frustrated but do not give up. It will be fun eventually. As in any cases, learning a new thing may seem impossible at first but then you will realize that you made it!

    Be prepared – body, mind and soul

    Plan ahead. It may look sunny in the morning but will be cold and windy, do not be complacent and bring your stuff. It may be too windy so the lifts may be closed so you will have to stay in your hotel. Also, bring water bag suitable for snowboarding because you will sweat a lot and you will need to drink water or water with salts like gatorade this will help you out quenching your thirst and on managing altitude sickness.

    I woke up in the dark and couldn’t find the light

    Have you ever been very energetic and passionate towards different wonderful goals?

    And then woke up one day not finding any?

    The list of 10 things you wanted to do were all gone.

    The heart was empty of desires.

    The mind was wandering aimlessly.

    Yesterday you were filled with dreams and aspirations.

    Today was very different.

    You got up.

    And that was it.

    No known desires.

    No spark.

    Nothing.

    Light couldn’t be found.

    You took a vacation to find any.

    But it seems that you are drained.

    And you are filled with darkness.

    You are lost for words and thoughts.

    You still have to get up.

    Work on characterizing the uncharacterized dreams.

    Because the world will not wait for you to find your light.

    You have to create it again.

    To fight the darkness or else your inner monsters will eat you alive.

    And the saddest part is you will be eaten alone by your own thoughts.

    Fight and do not lose yourself in the darkest place you created.