When she was in high school she gets jealous of her friends in a relationship.
It looks fun. To have someone to hold hands, cuddle or kiss.
It looks wonderful. To love someone not inside your family nor circle of friends.
It looks magical. To create a world with that someone.
She fantasized herself in a perfect relationship.
All butterflies in her stomach.
Everything would be amazing.
But then that teenager self grew.
She saw the world.
She witnessed relationships succeed and failed.
She got scared. To be hurt and left crying.
It took time before she dared to share her heart behind the walls she built.
The first time was not love but an experience.
An experience of letting her certain self entertain someone who is uncertain.
Certain that her first relationship will be her last for everything.
It turned out it was not. At least in her case.
She fought because she wanted that first to be the last.
Even if the feelings was not growing or the love was not existing she kept fighting.
But then it came to an end.
She moved on.
She got into an enchanting relationship where she felt like a princess.
Was it easy?
It was but not always.
In all relationships there will always be ups and downs.
But at the end of the day you both decide to choose each other.
It was an eye-opener that letting someone get in your life is not easy.
It is about learning and relearning yourself and your partner.
One thing she would tell her high school self.
To not rush a relationship nor love.
It is a process.
It has a fair share of happiness and sadness.
A combination of emotions you will have to deal with.
And her takeaway would be to fall in love to someone who will make things easier.
Life is already complicated, do not complicate it more.
larswrites 